Reflections on Dim Sum

Right off the bat, Lindsey Owyang (the main character) is my kind of girl! Didn't remind me too much of myself, but enough to laugh and say, "I know what you mean girl!” The Dim Sum of all things by Kim Wong Keltner had me agreeing one way or another with every page flipped over.

First things first, Keltner addressed the historic puzzler for all Asian women, what is it with guys that are into Asians? I’ve asked a couple of my non-Asian friends before and I remember them saying it has to do with being different – foreign – exotic. I always thought that was the role of European models, but they also said the food, culture and “cuteness” Asian Girls have blind them into a trance. “You guys are great looks, book smarts, obedience, great food, and exciting history all in this little cute package that I wanna take home, keep forever, and show everybody!” my friend B said. I guess it goes the same for Asian girls and white guys. Lindsey and Michael’s relationship cracks me up because she’s so innocent and oblivious to relationships that she doesn’t know how to properly act when it comes to Michael. But that’s how it is for most girls, but the whole “white thing” – I gotta admit, I’m like that too. Difference is exciting, new, and something that keeps you wanting to learn more about it. I mean, all my life I’ve been surrounded by Filipinos and dating other Filipinos is too familiar and is like dating a family member. So why white guys instead of other Asians or other races? “American” is what we strive to be right?! When it all comes down to it, we long for achieving that “American Dream.” It’s like searching for acceptance because we are different, and it’s not like being with some white guy will ultimately give us that, but in a sense it’s the chance at really feeling American, and that is what attracts us Asian women to white guys – for me at least, despite their ways of cuteness.

The book also reflected upon interracial relationships. With Lindsey’s cousin Stephanie, she marries Mike who is white and her father didn’t talk to her for months because of that. Why is that? Most parents, as done mine, teach their children to love and give love – they never specified to whom and what race – why now when Stephanie brings home a white man? Was it seen as disrespectful? Or was it a personal hate integrated within her father? Either way, I wouldn’t know how that mindset would continue up until now. This is still something that perplexes me, as well as Lindsey.